I am back in New York, for four unforgettable days again, just eight months after I came in the autumn of the year before.
This time I am back for the 80th birthday of the mother of my dearest friend.
It
is like a dream, and a bit of déjà vu, this trip, as I reprise the 21
hour flights from Asia...and step out in the chilly night air to the
airport to meet the welcoming faces of husband and wife from home...and
enjoy the drive to Scarsdale, punctuated by the electronic voice of Waze
as the couple maneuver...and argue...and ultimately find their way to
the house...and walk in to the warm and snug 1911 house atop a hill and
see the same patio, eight months ago framed by the change of
colors...now draped by a verdant cloak of spring!
My
friend is away from home, but in her element, surrounded by the family
she loves and grew up with...two sisters and two brothers, all
ridiculously successful in their fields like herself, unbelievably busy
in their worlds like herself, yet at the moment affectionately
preoccupied with making their mother feel ultra-, uber-special as she
marks this milestone.
It is a ten-day
birthday party, across two continents, between two states, and a grand
production involving six families brought across the miles to join
in...no, to BE the celebration itself.
The
celebrant, a beautiful, formidable and intrepid officially octogenarian
lady, is all smiles, taking in voraciously, the sights, sounds, and
scents of this unique and protracted commemoration, bottling it in her
heart and mind, to enjoy even years after. She states calmly but
happily, "This is the longest birthday anyone has ever had..."
And
she deserves it. A widow, who lost her husband of over fifty years
just a few years ago...who is also a woman ahead of her time. No glass
ceilings could have stopped her from raising her brood almost
singlehandedly as her beloved mate worked on providing for the family,
and she concentrated on shaping and molding their bodies, their values,
and their characters. In good times, she would insist that her children
travel the world to get the education of a lifetime. In hard times,
she would do everything by hand, and created dishes, experiences, and
lifestyles for her children so they would not want for anything. She
could cook up a storm, whip up a gourmet meal, cure and roast ham, bake
cakes to die for...and still drive her children hard...to do the same
and then some. It is almost as if, she wanted her children to be the
complete individuals, the Renaissance people of old, who could cook,
sew, clean, raise families...and still be successful professionals. And
through it all, she offered her children and their fates and futures to
a God that she proudly says has always listened to her, heard her
prayers, and never forsaken her. I personally know her as a lady who
has done astonishing things in her senior years, from building a
memorial to her late husband, to managing multiple households, to
trekking through the rice terraces and exploring the caves in Sagada, to
travelling to and from Baguio in the same day! All these and more she
has done, as she often reminds me, "on her knees", as in prayer!
Did
I mention how strikingly beautiful and elegant she is? Whether she had
her lush long hair held up in a chignon, or the short cropped bob that
she now favors, she is always impeccably dressed and incredibly put
together. I know I would love to be her, at any age, I imagine.
Her
daughters are beautiful women too, but still do not hold a candle to
their mother. They are all, as I said, ridiculously successful
women...one a Chief Medical Officer of a prestigious and respected
medical institution in the US, the other a social entrepreneur who helps
raise funds for worthy and accredited causes all over the world, and
the third, my friend, the managing director of an inclusive
international school in Asia. The sons are no less stellar, and
handsome...one son is an entrepreneur ten times over, the other is also a
sought after doctor in the midwest.
Thank you
for the pleasure of joining this amazing family celebration...and for
the privilege of calling you Tita. Happy birthday...and may you live
another eighty years!!!
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